I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Randomize
