history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
