I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
