I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
