Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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