I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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