i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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