??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Randomize
