I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Randomize
