Will you blow on my dice?
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Randomize
