I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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