I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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