Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Still dying that you shit outside
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
