hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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