Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
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