the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Randomize
