walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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