Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
