I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
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