I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
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