I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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