He kissed a someone with a penis
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Randomize
