Do you still have your period?
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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