Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
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