Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Randomize
