I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
he puts the penis in happiness.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
