what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
