just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
