Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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