Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize