My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
