Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
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