So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
