Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
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Do I have a choice?
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Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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