Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Enjoy the penises
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
