Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
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