Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
