Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Randomize
