I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Randomize
