why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
