fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
