Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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