I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Randomize
