The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
