im having a threesome with these popsicles
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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