I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
mondays should just be called national damage control day
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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