we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
