Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
