You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
