i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I want to walk on stilts...naked
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize