She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
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