Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
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