Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Operation Purity has been aborted
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Randomize
