I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Randomize
