turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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