His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
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