I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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