i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
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