For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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