Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
