i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Randomize
