sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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