The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
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