i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Rumble strips road head = magical
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
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