I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
