i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
