she was so not down for the gang bang
Where is the hickey?
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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