so that wasnt chicken after all
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
