Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
