My girlfriend figured out who you are.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
