North Korea, Best Korea!
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
